The one with the plus size confidence

One of the things that I often get asked about is the Confidence thing. Growing up big, and being one since I was 10 - It clearly had to have had an influence about my development. 

I also grew up in a religious background - in which girls do not wear pants. Little alone shorts. In recent years we've seen that women are wearing more and more shorts. And for some teen girls this is a real issue - as to how short can a short short be. 

A lot of times when I have a new client or just speak to another women over a certain size - they actually fear dresses. Since they grew up avoiding them - because everyone told then to avoid them since they are fat. (even if they were really not fat). 

That always seems odd to me for 2 reason; 

a. As I said I never feared dresses since I wore them. 

b. In all most any case - dresses look better then pants. 

But fear and the lack of confidence seems to be a thing that women, especially with some body issues (and size is not a factor - but it does contribute to it) - have to deal with. 

For me that fear was shorts. And the more I wear them - the more I love it. 

It's not just about being comfortable - but also about doing something that some people don't think that I should be doing - since I'm fat. 

And that's why - As simple is wearing short is suppose to be - every time I wear a pair I feel like screaming to the world: 

"Suck it!" 

Sunglasses: Asos \ Shirt: Renuar (il) \ Shorts: H&M \ Shoes: Skope shoes (il)

The one from - Thank god I'm a women

I was born to a Religious orthodox Jewish family and went to a Religious schools system until I was 18. 

Part of that was learning how to daven the Jewish prayers.

The first part of this is the morning "Barchaout". There are 3 that change from Women to men - since in Hebrew there is a difference between male and female verbs.  but one of these Barchaout - does not chance just the verb. but the whole meaning. 

simply:

for men - the say "thank god for been a man". 

And for women? "thank god he made me as HE desired. 

I might have been as young as 12 - and thanking to myself - this is ridiculous! And decide to say "Thank for for been a women". 

It took many years after that when this started to be one of those things that women, Religious women that happen to be also feminist - talk about. 

You see - while man need to daven within a group of at least 10 men, women are allowed to daven on their own. So it s a private thing and something that nobody would notice when I started to change the words for the section. It's was between me and my god. 

It took more then 20 years later for my to be able to say that I'm a feminist. For some wired reason, like alot of my female peers in my age group I felt like I should be apologetic about been a women, let a lone a feminist! Oh My!!

Or

God forbid. 

But now, 30 years old I know that we are still so far away form ending the battle for change. And I can tell for a lot of now-a-day feminist that it's about gender pride. and god dammit! 

I'm a proud women. 

Shirt: Onot \ Shorts: Asos \ Shoes: H&M \ Bracelets: Top 10 \ Bag: Asos

The one from the Road untaken

These days I'm finishing my LLB - my Law degree. In order to become a "Real" lawyer I would still have to complete one year of doing a internship and of course - take the bar exams. 

For some reason - I'm finding it very difficult. Like before - when I finished my BA in communication and journalism - for some reason I start you doubt my self. Of course, This time around is different; Finding out that I have Fibromaylgia and CFS is a life changing event - and at the time - I decided not to stop my studies. My goal at that time was to finish what I started. Which is kind of weird for me to say - thinking back on my life. I guess I always thought of myself as some what of a quitter. 

My goal was just to finish the degree and now, Here I am. I'm finishing and now I have to think about what's next. 

I can't do another "career change", and even if I enjoy styling I just have to commit to something already. Why is this so difficult?